According to You, According to Them
by Loxxi
Summary: Sakura gets cheated on by her boyfriend with her best friend. Her friends at school harrass her. Whilst her depression, Sasori-her older brother-can't handle it. So, he peeks the interest of his club from school to try and get her to feel better..and they fall miserably for her. AkuSaku. Hidan and Sakura's mouth, and future mega-fluff. *HIATUS*
1. According to You

_**This was inspired by 'According to You' by 'Orianthi' and more specifically..my beloved cross-dressing friend. xD**_

**I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters. Except Sakura's *ahem* ex.****_ Maybe._**

No, no, no, no! She didn't wanna hear it. She clutched her cellphone tightly.

"Sakura, I'm sorry.." He said. "I just..can't handle being with you anymore." He continued. "Why..?" Sakura whispered. There was an uncomfortable shuffling on his end. "Why did you kiss her?" Sakura whimpered. Her heart hurt like hell. More uncomfortable shuffling.. "I'll just come out and say it, Saks-" "DON'T CALL ME LIKE YOU KNOW ME ASSHOLE!" Sakura screamed in tears. Silence. "Just..call me Haruno.." Sakura sniffed. This hurt her to no end. She clutched the cloth covering her heart.

Sasori sighed from the conversation in the next room..I mean, he's her big brother. Big brothers gotta do what big brothers gotta do to protect their little sister. But what was next immobilized him. He was furious..he would beat that man to a bloody fucking pulp.

"Your stupid. Useless." Her boyfriend-excuse me-ex hissed. She began to sob. "You can't do anything right. Your too clingy, and difficult.." He said, with no emotion. Her sobs became louder. "Your too hard to fucking please." He said. She couldn't take it anymore. "I don't want the shit you give me! I want to be with you! I wanna..." Sakura cried. "I wanna..." She couldn't make herself say it.. 'marry you..' she finished in her mind.

Just then Sasori burst in. He snatched her phone. "She is nothing you described, asshole. Sure, she could wear fancy things more often, lose weight, but that doesn't concern you." Sasori seethed, clearly livid. He knew nobody knew of their being a brother and sister. "Don't ever fuck with my woman, bastard." Sasori said dangerously calm, then hung up, and threw the phone across the room, breaking it. He sat down with an agitated huff. Nobody screws with his little sister. He held her tightly until she got over it.

After her sobbing seized, she began to talk. "You broke my cell, Nii-chama." Sakura said. He laughed. "That thing was old, anyways. It's way past due time to replace it." Sasori said. She looked at him with those red puffy eyes-from crying- with a pout. "Nii-chama..." Sakura said, in a childish tone. "Okay, you pick, I pay. Sound good?" He smiled. She beamed at this. Just the thing to cheer her up.

_**Sorry this was short.. but you can look forward to a so-so chappie next. xD Please review.**_** :D**


	2. New Phone

**I**_** have multi-block; writing, art, concentration, etc. So I'll try my best for future/now fans...**_

**I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters. Except Sakura's *ahem* ex.****_ Maybe._**

_previously:_

_After her sobbing seized, she began to talk. "You broke my cell, Nii-chama." Sakura said. He laughed. "That thing was old, anyways. It's way past due time to replace it." Sasori said. She looked at him with those red puffy eyes-from crying- with a pout. "Nii-chama..." Sakura said, in a childish tone. "Okay, you pick, I pay. Sound good?" He smiled. She beamed at this. Just the thing to cheer her up._

"Promise?" Sakura rubbed her eyes. "Promise." Sasori said, then exited the room.

**'He better promise. He's the one who broke it, so he has to pay for it.'**

_'You know, he's a big brother so it's normal he'd freak like that.' _Sakura laid down.

**'No! It absolutely IS NOT normal! He called us his woman, Sakura!'**

_'Nobody knows we're related.'_

**'But they will find out due to our hot boyfriend.'**

_'Then that would make him a stupid ex, besides, he broke it off. And he doesn't know.'_

**'*sigh*Point taken..but-'**

_'No buts.'_

"You promised you'd buy me a cellphone. I'll meet you in groceries." Sakura waved then skipped off. "Alright." Sasori grabbed a cart, looked at the grocery list, then headed off to his first destination.

_'Electronics..electro-here it is!' _Sakura glided through the isles to find the one with the phones. "Here!" Sakura started looking.

**'Can't wait, can you?'**

At the end of her train of thought, she bumped into someone. "G-Gomenasai!" Sakura stuttered, bowing an apology. "You bi-" One male said only to be silenced by the other. "Hidan, language." The man comparing prices and pluses with the phones said. "It ain't my fuckin' fault, the bitch is the one who slammed into me!" The white-haired man, apparently 'Hidan' cussed and pointed an accusing finger at her. Pop goes a vein on Sakura's head, along with the manifestation of a very demonic aura, and a sickly sweet smile. It didn't go unnoticed, because all the customers and employees turned tail and jacked out of there; except for Hidan and the price-comparing male.

"I apologize politely. I bow to a sick moron in apologies like you.." Sakura said, dangerously calm. They turn to her. "Good bitch. I like 'em feisty." Hidan grinned, still pointing at her. Without hesitation, she grabbed his finger and pulled it backwards with a few crunches of the bones, her smile still intact. The price comparing male side-stepped a few times, wanting nothing to do with the scene that was originally caused by his fucked up roommate; who held his finger and moaned in pleasure. "Sick bastard!" Sakura yelled, kicked Hidan in the nuts, then took the most expensive phone and left with a 'hmph'. "I like that bitch.." Hidan grinned ike the masochistic pervert he was. The price-comparing male just sighed, obviously irritated. A long day it was going to be..

Sakura glided through the store's grocery area until she found her older brother lifting a pack of water and putting it into the cart. "Nii-chama!" Sakura yelled, waving the packaged phone in the air. "I found one!" She grinned. _'And met a pervert and a weird guy..' _

she finished in her mind, and put the phone in the full cart. "Okay. This is all that's needed." Sasori said reading the list, then checking out water. Thus, they headed toward the front, checked out, put everything in the car, then headed home.

Sakura eyed her new phone, pushing buttons happily. Sasori glanced at her with a chuckle at a red light, and as soon as it turned green, and a moment of waiting, he continued driving.

**'He's a good big brother.'**

_'I agree. He even got me this phone! I hear its pretty cool.'_

**'Saks, onto something else..those two guys.'**

_'That white-haired man...ewwwwwwwwwww...'_ Sakura outwardly shuddered at the memory. "Something wrong?" Sasori said, worried. "Ah..n-nothing!" Sakura waved her hands in the air. "Doesn't seem like it, but okay." Sasori lifted a brow, then pulled into their driveway. "It's about him, isn't it..?" Sasori whispered, getting out of the car. "Huh?" Sakura tilted her head to a side. "Nothing. Go inside, okay?" Sasori said, unlocking the back. "Hai!" Sakura raced inside, upstairs to her room, clicking away at her new phone.

_**Hello everyone :D  
PanUchiha7105, oh THANK YOU FOR MY FIRST REVIEW. :3  
Okay, for those who don't know simple(to me anyway) Japanese Romaji;  
Hai = Yes  
Gomenasai = I'm Sorry  
Nii-chama(Onii-chan) = Big brother  
I tried to make it long..but I'm tired and its all gibberish DDx. I sowwy DDx Review. :D**_


	3. School

_**I need to warn you: ugly harassment is going to happen in this chappie. I included 'harassment' in the summary, right? And rated the fic M for Mature. I'll be blunt; If you want to bitch about this, then go ahead. Spam, even :) Just one click, thats it.**_

_'That white-haired man...ewwwwwwwwwww...' Sakura outwardly shuddered at the memory. "Something wrong?" Sasori said, worried. "Ah..n-nothing!" Sakura waved her hands in the air. "Doesn't seem like it, but okay." Sasori lifted a brow, then pulled into their driveway. "It's about him, isn't it..?" Sasori whispered, getting out of the car. "Huh?" Sakura tilted her head to a side. "Nothing. Go inside, okay?" Sasori said, unlocking the back. "Hai!" Sakura raced inside, upstairs to her room, clicking away at her new phone._

"Wake up already!" Sasori yelled, in agitation. He continued pounding the metal ladle inside the pot. ***CLACK* *CLACK* **He was currently acting like a Mother. ***CLACK* *CLACK* *CLACK* **He didn't like having to do it every single morning Monday through Friday. "HUHWHAT?!" Sakura yelps, faceplanting on the carpet next to her bed. "Hurry up! It's Monday, time for school, bedhead." Sasori narrowed his eyes and walked out of the room. Sakura got got up, and looked at the clock. 6:30. It's not time for school yet. She goes back to the bed to get back in... "If you don't shower, wash your face, brush your teeth, and come down here in 15 minutes I will make sure it is done myself!" Sasori yelled upstairs. Sakura shuddered. She didn't like being dragged about...so, she went and did as told.  
She got out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around herself, and brushed her teeth. Her face was done in the shower.

**'He's too strict.'**

_'He can't help it. Mom and Dad went to work an hour ago. Besides, he's going along with his role as a big brother.'_

**'I agree..'**

Sakura rinsed off her toothbrush, and her mouth. She then ran to her bedroom to get dressed in her school uniform. Packing her finished homework, she then ran downstairs. "Good." Sasori gave her a box. "Mom left these for us. Time to go." Sasori walked out, followed be his little sister who locked and closed the door. School wasn't as far as the grocery store, so they could walk for 8 minutes. It wouldn't hurt them, would it?

*School*

As soon as they arrived, they rushed to their classrooms, thankfully not late, but not early either. The bell rang, and classes began. Sakura stared out the window, ignoring the Teacher and the pitter patter of pencils. This was her second week at the Prestigious Konoha High, the school her brother and ex attend. She made a lot of friends, and she couldn't wait to hang out with them again. _"Haruno, Sakura!" _Mr. Hatake stated her name, awakening her from her thoughts. "H-Hai!" Sakura looked around stupidly, earning snickers and giggles from her classmates. "I asked you a question. I shall repeat it." Mr. Hatake yawned. "In what year was the fourth Shinobi war, why it was caused, and who lead the rebellions who started it against the nations." Mr. Hatake more stated, than asked. Sakura's Geekette kicked in. "In 1797. The fourth shinobi war was over a creature that is now extinct, as textbooks explain. It was a Tailed Beast. There is One Tail, Two Tails, Three Tails, all the way up to Nine Tails. They were very powerful, and if they were put in the wrong hands, it would prove fatal to the whole universe." Sakura adjusted her glasses.

"Humans were used a vassals for these Tailed Beasts. Unfortunately, the One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, and Eight tailed beasts were captured and combined. All that was needed for the legendary 10 tailed beast, was the Nine tails." Sakura clasped her hands. "The war was started to protect the vassal of the Nine Tails, Karuto Uzumaki. As for who lead the rebellions..that person is unknown. However, he is rumored to be the great Uchiha, Madara, himself." Sakura grinned, and took a deep breath. Everyone's jaw dropped at how intelligent she was. "Correct." Mr. Hatake said, then the bell rang. "Dismissed." Mr. Hatake looked up at the clock. Everybody collected their things, and went to the cafeteria.

**'History Teacher is a man of few words. He should at least warm up to us a bit.'**

_'I agree..' _Sakura skipped, only to come to an abrupt stop when she was about to turn down a hall. Print-outs of her picture were spread all over the place. Her face was scribbled out with black ink.

**'Whoever did this is so gonna pay. *cracks knuckles*'**

"Hey, its that slut, Haruno. They say she cheated on all the men in this school." One girl pointed out. "Huh..?" Sakura looked over at that girl. "I..what?" Sakura couldn't register in her brain. "Haha! She's feigning innocence! Don't worry, we all know your secret." Another girl laughed. "What...?" Sakura looked down, just registering what was happening. She balled her fists, tears swelling up in her eyes. "Aww, she's crying. Serves that bitch right." A girl laughed hard. They all walked away. She was speechless. She didn't do any of this. Lies, all lies about her. Dropping her bag, she wiped away tears. She sobbed.

"Oi, pinky." A male voice called. "I didn't do anything!" Sakura sobbed like a child. "Oops, I think I made it worse, hey Atsu, do something." The male voice whispered. "Hn." 'Atsu' walked up to her, then paused. "Sakura?" 'Atsu' raised a brow. She was dazed in her crying, and couldn't maintain reality and fantasy. "Nii-chama!" Sakura ran into the surprised man's arms. "Their mean..please do something.." Sakura sobbed. Atsu looked over at his friend in question. "I think she likes you." He grinned. Atsu was bemused at the moment. He didn't know what to do. Sure, he had a little brother, but not a little sister. He wasn't good with girls, even though they made a club specifically made for him. Even though they all hoarded and fawned over him.

He just sighed, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her until the wimpers stopped. It was an embarrassing scene, yes. But, his innocence was forcefully taken long ago. He didn't really care anymore. He clenched his teeth aiming for self control. He just wanted to hold her tight, ask her what happened, and beat whomever is responsible shitless. But he wouldn't. Right? The beeping of a cellphone could be heard from his friend, who is apparently texting someone. A moment of wait, then one last beep, annnnnddd...

_**"SAKURA!"**_ A familiar red headed male's voice could be heard from the other end of the school. Atsu's friend was rolling on the floor laughing. "Priceless!" Atsu's friend slammed the floor, still laughing. "That isn't nice, Kisame." Atsu glared at his laughing friend. "Oi, oi, everyone's gotta have a good laugh, you know, Itachi." Kisame calmed down. Sakura immediately tensed at hearing the name.

_'Itachi? As in..Itachi Uchiha?!' _ Sakura stumbled back, tripping over her bag, with a deep crimson red face. She immediately got up and bowed deeply. "G-G-Gomenasai! I..I thought you were-uhmm.." Sakura stuttered. "Uhmm, my close friend, my roommate, Sasori! Yes, my roommate..." Sakura trembled.

_'Oh no..what do i do?! I just clinged to Itachi Uchiha! THEEE Itachi Uchiha!'_

**'I'unno. He sure is hotter than they say.'**

_'He's the fucking heir to some rich company! I could get arrested for molesting a rich man's son, inner!'_

**'Then let's hope he's the one to arrest us, outer.' **

"Hn." Itachi walked up, picked up her bag and gave it to her. "Translation, Pinky. He says 'no problem'." The blue bulky man grinned, showing a nice set of razor sharp teeth. "Sakura!" Sasori ran up to her, panting. Oh, why did this school have to be so big?! "Sakura..you okay? Something happen?" Sasori said in between pants, trying to catch his breath. Itachi walked passed Sasori silently. "You didn't do anything to her, right?" Sasori went into 'touch-my-little-sister-your-a-dead-man' mode. Itachi continued walking. "He held your upset baby sister while she was crying. I'll send you the pic later." Kisame whispered in Sasori's ear before running to catch up with Itachi. "DELETE IT!" Sasori huffed, then turned to Sakura, who was a full-fledged statue. He sighed. "Let's go home. I'll call the principle later." Sasori grabbed her hand and they went home.

_**Thats it for this chappie! Like Sakura's meeting with Kisame and Itachi? :3 I know I do. I love Sakura's Geekette, too xD**_

_**Thank you lalamnmgirl and angelofthelord15 for the reviews! **_

_**Again, for those who don't know simple(to me anyway) Japanese Romaji;**_

_**Hai = Yes**_

_**Gomenasai = I'm Sorry**_

_**Nii-chama(Onii-chan) = Big brother**_

**_I tried to rush this one and I feel like I epicly failed. I would like good reviews to make me feel_****_better. :3 Pwetty pwease with hot fudge, sprinkles, whip cream, and a cherry on top? xD Anywho, look forward to the next chappie._**


	4. Depression: The Plan

_**Sakura is in a really deep depression..any guy-including her brother, Sasori-that enters her dark room will only make her cry. :( And he comes up with an ebil plan :3**_

**I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters. Except Sakura's *ahem* ex. ****_Maybe._**

_previously: _

_"Hn." Itachi walked up, picked up her bag and gave it to her. "Translation, Pinky. He says 'no problem'." The blue bulky man grinned, showing a nice set of razor sharp teeth. "Sakura!" Sasori ran up to her, panting. Oh, why did this school have to be so big?! "Sakura..you okay? Something happen?" Sasori said in between pants, trying to catch his breath. Itachi walked passed Sasori silently. "You didn't do anything to her, right?" Sasori went into 'touch-my-little-sister-your-a-dead-man' mode. Itachi continued walking. "He held your upset baby sister while she was crying. I'll send you the pic later." Kisame whispered in Sasori's ear before running to catch up with Itachi. "DELETE IT!" Sasori huffed, then turned to Sakura, who was a full-fledged statue. He sighed. "Let's go home. I'll call the principle later." Sasori grabbed her hand and they went home._

Sakura's room was dark, she had turned off the lights and closed curtains over the window. She didn't come out of her room to do anything. She was silent-except the occasional sob when Sasori knocked on her door demanding she'd eat because it isn't healthy not to. Sasori was all out of ideas. He decided to sulk in his room. His ego was bruised because of her newfound androphobia, worse when he found out the rumors, and he nearly lost his sanity when the picture he told Kisame to delete was sent to his phone with a text saying that Kisame made it his background. He silently poked a puppet he made with a needle, lost in thought. Only Mom could enter..women..that's it! He grinned evilly. He would get-more like bribe with clay-his friend, Deidara to dress as a girl. Shoving the needle in the doll, he set it down, then grabbed his phone to call him. Oh, what fun this would be.. Dialing the number, Deidara answers.

_"What Danna-sama, un?" _

"My cute, artistic, explosive baby sister caught a mysterious disease called 'androphobia'. The only way to cure it is for a guy with long blonde hair and blue eyes to dress like a girl." Sasori grinned slyly. He just knew it would work..after all, Deidara wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

After a long pause..

_"You want me to dress like a girl? What the hell, un?!"_

"Like I said, 'My cute, artistic, exp-" Sasori was cut off.

_"Alright, alright. You owe me 700 pounds of explosive clay for this, yeah."_ Deidara hung up. Sasori did a fist-pump in victory.

*Akatsuki Club Room*

"Hahahahahahaa! Tinker bell's gonna dress like a fucking girl!" Hidan laughed his ass off. "I'm not the only one, un." Deidara grinned at Hidan menacingly. "Oh, no. Fuck no!" Hidan tried to make a run for it. "Make Itachi a fucking pretty girl!" Hidan got tackled by Konan. "You two are gonna be fun to doll up." Konan said, dreamily-while stripping the cussing Hidan, taking out a make-up kit-with Deidara laughing his ass off in the background. "Oh Jashin-sama...**_HELP_****_ME!_**" Hidan screamed, being heard throughout the school. Pein massaged his temples to fight off an oncoming migraine. He wondered what the hell his club-mates were up to. Scratch that, he didn't want to know-because more than likely, they were going to get in serious trouble _again_. All he could do is try and make an excuse.

*Sakura's room*

She hugged her knees.

**'I have a feeling something is gonna happen.'**

_'Shut up, inner..'_

**'Hey, don't say that. After all, without me, you would've lost your sanity before now.'**

Sakura didn't reply, both because she knew it was true, and she had a feeling something was coming up. She just didn't know...yet.

*Akatsuki Club Room*

Itachi and Kisame walked in, only to find Hidan and Deidara dressed up as girls-and an extremely happy Konan, admiring her work; making bulky men look like thin, curvy women. "What's the occasion?" Kisame raised a brow, Itachi looking around, confused. "We're gonna cheer up Sasori's little sister, un! And I'm getting clay for this, yeah!" Deidara twirled girlishly. "Fuck this shit..that bitch can stay depressed for all Jashin-sama cares." Hidan tried to get free from his painfully tight spiked-restraints, groaning in pleasure doing so. "And you two are going as well..." Konan smiled sheepishly. Itachi's façade fell, as he widened his eyes with a 'Hn' and made a run for it, leaving his friend behind. "Oh, shi-" Kisame got glomped by Konan. "Ita-chan!" Deidara skipped menacingly fast after Itachi, who was clearly running a marathon, wanting to keep his pride as a man. **"Itachi, ****_HELP ME, DAMMIT!_****" **Kisame screamed, but Itachi kept running. Skidding to go around the corner he sees Deidara. "You're coming too, un." He said.

_**Lights out for Itachi, poor guy. His pride was stolen. LMFAO xD**_

_**And Wofisis, I agree..now that I read it, it IS Mumble Jumbled. xD I editted it. xD**_

_**Again, for those who don't know simple(to me anyway) Japanese Romaji;**_

_**Hai = Yes**_

_**Gomenasai = I'm Sorry**_

_**Nii-chama(Onii-chan) = Big brother**_

_**I liked this one. Enjoyed typing it. Hilarious. Absolutely HILARIOUS. Don't you agree? xD Review :D**_


	5. Depression: Failure

**Ha!**_** I couldn't help it. The second I finished, is when I wanted to slowly torture to stoic bad ass Itachi Uchiha. I can't help it, I write random things thinking 'someone is gonna bribe someone' or 'this person is gonna be dressed a girl' or 'this person is going to run like a mad person'. xD Priceless, it ended up being Itachi. Anywho, told from Itachi's POV. xD**_

**I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters. Except Sakura's *ahem* ex.**_** Maybe.**_

_previously:_

_*Akatsuki Club Room*_

_Itachi and Kisame walked in, only to find Hidan and Deidara dressed up as girls-and an extremely happy Konan, admiring her work; making bulky men look like thin, curvy women. "What's the occasion?" Kisame raised a brow, Itachi looking around, confused. "We're gonna cheer up Sasori's little sister, un! And I'm getting clay for this, yeah!" Deidara twirled girlishly. "Fuck this shit..that bitch can stay depressed for all Jashin-sama cares." Hidan tried to get free from his painfully tight spiked-restraints, groaning in pleasure doing so. "And you two are going as well..." Konan smiled sheepishly. Itachi's façade fell, as he widened his eyes with a 'Hn' and made a run for it, leaving his friend behind. "Oh, shi-" Kisame got glomped by Konan. "Ita-chan!" Deidara skipped menacingly fast after Itachi, who was clearly running a marathon, wanting to keep his pride as a man. __**"Itachi, HELP ME, DAMMIT!" **__Kisame screamed, but Itachi kept running. Skidding to go around the corner he sees Deidara. "You're coming too, un." He said._

I had to make a run for it. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to be dressed as a woman. I am a _**fully grown**_ _**man**__**. **_Not a **_woman. _**I felt Deidara's glare as I ran like a madman. Down the stairs, through the halls, through the courtyard, then through more halls. I obviously wasn't losing him. I skidded to make a turn, only to find Deidara. "Your coming too, un." He smiled eerily, then tackled me.

Thats all I remember..but now, here I am, at Sasori's house, in his living room, dressed as a girl. I'll admit, my pride is gone now. But I won't let it show. "Whoa Deidara, don't you think you overdid it, bringing the whole club?" Sasori lifted a brow. "Can Tobi go back to being a guy now? Tobi will be a good boy." Tobi sniffled. "No!" Deidara and Konan snapped at him. Poor guy. I continue my glare at Deidara. He's shivering in fear, but ignoring me. "I worked too hard to have them go back now, Sasori." Konan pouted. "Sasori! It's your fucking fault, puppet-boy!" Hidan cussed, then mumbled something about 'Oh Jashin-sama, help me.'. Zetsu was dressed in pink, with a pink bow in his hair. I inwardly shuddered. Kisame was dressed in a blue formal dress, not a gown, a dress. Hidan had a pink tutu and a 'Love Me Jesus' shirt. It took sheer willpower for me not to roll on the floor laughing at him. Kakuzu was dressed as a prostitute. No suprise there, since he has an odd love for money. I was dressed in a mini-black dress, my hair in curls. Pein was spared, damn him.

"Sasori, exactly.._why_ are the Akatsuki members-_whom are all males_-dressed as women?" Pein started a glaring contest with Sasori. "Go upstairs, the first room on the left. You'll find out." Sasori yawned. "I'll go to make sure she doesn't wreck the whole house again." An older female-probably Sasori's mother-scratched the back of her head sheepishly. Sasori winced, and held his knee, murmuring something about 'She's become a monster, I tell ya..a monster..'. I lifted a brow curiously, as Pein-wearing his usual stoic face-and the older woman headed upstairs. She seemed uneasy.

~Upstairs: Normal POV~

"Go. Away." A female voice demanded from inside the room. Pein tried to keep his composure-but to no avail-he paled. "Now, now, Sakura. Be nice and come out." The older woman knocked at the seemingly demonic door. "Fuck you." Sakura spat from inside the room. "You have visitors." The older woman said authoritatively. The demon-door creaked open, an illusion of a mangled old hag whom was bent on killing everything and everyone who dared talk to her. The air within reeked of the demoness. "A male.." The hag giggled menacingly. Pein knew right then it was directed at him. He couldn't say anything. Hell, he couldn't move. It was overwhelming.

~Downstairs: Normal POV~

Hidan paled, looking intently at the stairs. Grabbing his necklace, he started to pray for safety. Tobi and Deidara were clinging to each other, terrified. Itachi was pale as a ghost, but stoic otherwise. Kisame held onto Itachi, crying, repeating that their all gonna die. Kakuzu held his credit card protectively. Zetsu clinged to Konan for dear life. Konan was praying for her man's safety. Sasori..he was long gone, chanting and placing sutras at the steps to ward off the evil, but to no avail.

~Upstairs: Normal POV(You get the picture. no more Itachi POV. :3)~

Sakura raised her fist at Pein. "Sakura, no!" The older woman yelled, unable to catch up to her demonic speed. Pein went unconscious before Sakura even laid a hit. Her fist slammed through the wall, but due to her speed and strength her arm was in the wall, up to her elbow. "Oh dear..." The older woman sweatdropped. She was calmer, because she dealt with her and Sasori. They were much worse. He managed the run with a broken knee; his room, her room, the kitchen, and two bathrooms were totaled. With the addition to a new hole in the wall. How Sakura came up with this power, the older woman had no clue.

~Downstairs~

After the slam everyone was in a state of panic.

_**"She's a demon I tell you! A demon that can't be sealed! She's too powerful! We need all the monks and mikos we can get! Lord help our souls!"**_Sasori screamed, hurriedly hobbling for the front door with his keys.

"Oh Jashin-sama, pretty fucking please have mercy on me..." Hidan rushed a circle of his own blood to try and protect himself.

_**"We're gonna die! Itachi, I'm sorry for everything bad I've done, forgive me!"**_Kisame sobbed.

"Hn." Was Itachi's reply-as he too wanted to make a run for it-and tried to push off Kisame.

_**"My man! I gotta rescue him! He's in danger!"**_Kanon tried to push off Zetsu to go upstairs.

"No, Konan! It's too late! **He's already gone from that force of evil!**" Zetsu tried to reason with the distraught Konan.

Kakuzu was packing richy looking things and made a run for it.

They all had no chance against what was upstairs. They all lost their sanity. They ran as far away as they could, leaving Pein to probably be beaten to a pulp. Konan made an early funeral for him.

_**LOL poor Akatsuki. 'specially Pein. He was left behind. xD i had fun writing this one. For awhile, I had no idea what I should write..xD Btw thanks for the reviews! :D**_

_**Okay, for those who don't know simple(to me anyway) Japanese Romaji;**_

_**Hai = Yes**_

_**Gomenasai = I'm Sorry**_

_**Nii-chama(Onii-chan) = Big brother**_

**_Review and tell me what you think. Hilarious? Dramatic? xD Anything? xD_**


	6. Fear

I**_ agree with the reviews. xD It was hilarious. They didn't know it was Sakura-with the exception of Sasori. Because he's her older brother. xD They are all afraid. xDDDD LMFAO. _**

**I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters. Except Sakura's *ahem* ex.****_ Maybe._**

_previously:_

_~Downstairs~_

_After the slam everyone was in a state of panic._

_**"She's a demon I tell you! A demon that can't be sealed! She's too powerful! We need all the monks and mikos we can get! Lord help our souls!"**__Sasori screamed, hurriedly hobbling for the front door with his keys._

_"Oh Jashin-sama, pretty fucking please have mercy on me..." Hidan rushed a circle of his own blood to try and protect himself._

_**"We're gonna die! Itachi, I'm sorry for everything bad I've done, forgive me!"**__Kisame sobbed._

_"Hn." Was Itachi's reply-as he too wanted to make a run for it-and tried to push off Kisame._

_**"My man! I gotta rescue him! He's in danger!"**__ Konan tried to push off Zetsu to go upstairs._

_"No, Konan! It's too late! __**He's already gone from that force of evil!**__" Zetsu tried to reason with the distraught Konan._

_Kakuzu was packing richy looking things and made a run for it._

_They all had no chance against what was upstairs. They all lost their sanity. They ran as far away as they could, leaving Pein to probably be beaten to a pulp. Konan made an early funeral for him._

They all shacked up at Sasuke's one bedroom apartment. How they all got in and fit, he had no clue. Itachi clinged to him terrified begging for help. The others were in Sasuke's bedroom trying to fit in the closet. They annoyed him to no end. "Onii-chan, what the hell is wrong with your club?" Sasuke said, picking off the ham on his teeth from his earlier HLT sandwich. "M-M-Monster..." Itachi stuttered. Sasuke looked in the direction of his closet.

"Let me in there, tinker bell!" Hidan demanded. "Oh, hell no!" Deidara stayed in his spot, the most safest spot in the closet, pushing away Hidan. "Find another place, un!" Deidara yelled, shoving Hidan outside of the closet with his foot. "Deidara, gimme that spot and I'll pay you." Kakuzu tried to bribe. "Oh, hell no, un! Find your own damn spot!" Deidara snapped. Zetsu had given up and hid under Sasuke's bed. Sasori used the club members to climb up to the highest shelf. "Watch it, un!" Deidara dragged Sasori down. Konan was holding a picture book near and dear to her heart sobbing. Kisame had shoved himself into a box with Tobi successfully and closed it. Deidara kept trying to protect his spot.

"I don't get it." Sasuke said. "Why are fully grown _**men **_afraid of something nonexistent?" Sasuke stressed the word 'men' and glared at Itachi whom just clinged tighter. With no answer, Sasuke facepalmed. "I'm calling the cops." Sasuke said, walking to the phone dragging Itachi. Dialing 9-1-1, the other side answered.

_"9-1-1, state your emergency please."_

"Nine nut cases broke into my house this evening, and one is trying to molest me." Sasuke said in a bored tone.

The other end hung up. Great. He hung up with a sigh. He dragged himself and Itachi to the garage, and tried to crowbar Itachi off, but fails. "Get off, Onii-chan!" Sasuke continued with the crowbar. He gave up, threw the crowbar aside, then called Ino.

"Come over if you want babies." Sasuke stated. The next second, she was in his driveway. "First get him off." Sasuke pointed at Itachi, and Ino did as told. Successful, Sasuke ran like a madman to his car, and locked himself in. He turned on his phone, and listened to music. He could stay there all day. Pushing his seat back, he falls asleep.

_**Short chappie is short. I may have to do a time-skip for next chappie. xD**_

_**I will do a three-day poll after the very end of the story, and whoever has to highest score, will recieve a request story from me. :D**_

_**Anyhoo, for those who don't know simple(to me anyway) Japanese Romaji;**_

_**Hai = Yes**_

_**Gomenasai = I'm Sorry**_

_**Nii-chama(Onii-chan) = Big brother**_

_**Boring? Decent? Something? xDD lol.**_


	7. The Favor

_**Pein lives! xD lol. a chappie for** **Pein. He gets an idea. xD Sorry or the extremely late update. **_

**I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters. Except Sakura's *ahem* ex.**_** Maybe.**_

_previously:_

_"I don't get it." Sasuke said. "Why are fully grown __**men **__afraid of something nonexistent?" Sasuke stressed the word 'men' and glared at Itachi whom just clinged tighter. With no answer, Sasuke facepalmed. "I'm calling the cops." Sasuke said, walking to the phone dragging Itachi. Dialing 9-1-1, the other side answered._

_"9-1-1, state your emergency please."_

_"Nine nutcases broke into my house this evening, and one is trying to molest me." Sasuke said in a bored tone._

_The other end hung up. Great. He hung up with a sigh. He dragged himself and Itachi to the garage, and tried to crowbar Itachi off, but fails. "Get off, Onii-chan!" Sasuke continued with the crowbar. He gave up, threw the crowbar aside, then called Ino._

_"Come over if you want babies." Sasuke stated. The next second, she was in his driveway. "First get him off." Sasuke pointed at Itachi, and Ino did as told. Successful, Sasuke ran like a madman to his car, and locked himself in. He turned on his phone, and listened to music. He could stay there all day. Pushing his seat back, he falls asleep._

With a groan, Pein wakes up, and looks around. "Good, your awake." The familiar older woman said. He got up from his laying position on the couch. "I'm sorry about Sakura..I dont know what happened to her." The older woman said, giving him tea. "She used to be the sweetest girl.." The older woman sighed. Pein's head was still foggy, and he couldn't register what was said. He downed the tea, thankful for the warm liquid soothing his dry, sore throat. 'Hmm..Sakura...' Pein thought stupidly. Just then, it registered. The cute little girl in the pictures on Sasori's phone? The one with the stupidly huge grins?! He choked. "Oh dear! Are you alright?!" The older woman look concerned. "Haruno..." Pein choked out trying to get a grip. "Sakura Haruno?" Pein looked at the older woman stupidly. "Yes, that's my Sakura." The older woman smiled proudly. He paled, looking up the stairs then at her with a confused look. "I'm quite confused myself." The older woman sweatdropped. "She's developed a severe case of androphobia.." The older woman sighed. "..to the point where she beats up even her brother and father." The older woman continued. "I had to rent out a two bedroom apartment because of it.." she sighed.

"Androphobia, huh..?" Pein said, deep in thought. Konan! He could get her to do it. She was a girl, not a guy. She was best buds with Ino. She could be useful. Taking out his phone, he dialed for Konan.

~Sasuke's apartment~

Upon seeing Pein's number, she hurriedly answered, praying to the kami it was him.

"Pein, is that really you?!" she grinned.

_"I need you to do me a favor."_

"Anything, darling!" she cooed.

_"Good. Can you figure out what's wrong with Haruno, Sakura?" _

"Huh? Haruno, Sakura?" she tilted her head. At her name, everybody paused and stared at her intently. "There are rumors going around in school that she's a prostitute." she said, ignoring the eyes on her. At the last three words, Sasori went into 'whoever did this I'll kill you' mode.

A long pause.

_"That could be the reason for her behavior."_

"Now that you say that..it could be." she shrugged.

_"Yes, and I would like you to do another thing.."_

"Yes?" she grinned.

_"Because of this, she has androphobia."_

"Androphobia? Makes sense..poor girl." she frowned, pitying the girl.

_"Yes, I need you to do whatever it is you women do, and make her feel better."_

Silence.

_"Its androphobia, not gynophobia."_

She sighed. It was true. And she was willing to do this for Pein's sake. "Okay, but are you hurt?" she asked.

_"Other than an extreme migraine, I'm fine."_

She sighed in relief. "Okay, I'll see what I can do." she smiled.

_**Woot! I have the brightest ideas sometimes. I want everyone to know that I haven't given up on this story. :)**_

_**Thank you Wolfisis, Princessdiana516, Jessica, Princessdiana516, Guest, la canelle, and angelofthelord15 for the reviews!**_

_**And angelofthelord15, as to your question about the poll..  
**_

_**When the fanfiction is done, I will have an extra chapter titled 'Poll' an under it, I will have somewhat a questionnaire. The reviewer that posts the most 'correct' answers only on that chapter, I will PM, letting them know they won, and they can request any CharacterxCharacter from the following anime/anime movie:**_

_**Hellsing Anime Series, Naruto Anime Series, Inuyasha Anime Series, and Spirited Away.**_

_**Okay, for those who don't know simple(to me anyway) Japanese Romaji;**_

_**Hai = Yes**_

_**Gomenasai = I'm Sorry**_

_**Nii-chama(Onii-chan) = Big brother**_


	8. Author's Note

**Just so everyone knows, I haven't and will not give up on this story. My brainstorming is going elsewhere..I shall be faithful and update hopefully within this year. I'm so full of other ideas, I don't know how to put up the ideas I have for this story. :|**


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